Job Vacancy

Even in these harsh and stringent times, with firms economising left, right and centre, good old Capita is on the lookout for more staff. Here's an advert for a job in Leicester. Let's see what we can make of it.

First off, it's for an "Enforcement Officer", yet the accompanying supporting document is titled "Visiting Officer". Obviously, "Visiting Officer" isn't scary enough. Remember the keywords "bluster, intimidation and misinformation". "Enforcement"? Even the police call themselves a "service" rather than "force"! In these enlightened and liberal times we don't do "force", do we? Not a hint of the word "force" on this page, as you will see. Well, not unless you're the BBC in which case "enforcement" is fine. And "Officer"? The Oxford Dictionaries Online site gives 3 definitions for "officer":

1. a person holding a position of authority, especially one with a commission, in the armed services , the mercantile marine, or on a passenger ship
   
   • a policeman or policewoman
   • a bailiff
2.  a holder of a public, civil, or ecclesiastical office:
     a probation officer
     the Chief Medical Officer
   • a holder of a senior post in a society, company, or other organization:
     a chief executive officer
3. a member of a certain grade in some honorary orders , such as the grade next below commander in the Order of the British Empire

Well, try as I might, I can't see a TV licence salesman in any of these three categories - though the BBC, of course, would like you to believe he is "a person holding a position of authority" and "a holder of a public ... office". But he isn't. He's employed by a public limited company called Capita. It says so at the bottom of the advert.

Next, the salary. You need to download the supporting document to discover the salary consists of:

• A basic salary of £14,000 per annum
• Average salary with commission in 2009 was £23,547
• An outstanding results based incentive scheme

Let's do the maths here. The average earnings were £23,547pa and the basic salary is £14,000pa. That means the "uncapped incentive scheme" must have brought in £9,547. I've previously referred to the scale of payments on this scheme where the maximum paid is £20 (for setting up a Direct Debit and obtaining the first payment). That means you'd have to set up 478 Direct Debits during the year to earn your commission. Say 10 per working week, or 2 per day. Sounds feasible, doesn't it? Except this document shows that you're expected to complete 400 visits per month! Now the number of households in Leicester is around 111,000. The national average of unlicensed households is around 5%, so in Leicester there should be around 5,500. Putting it all together, you're expected to visit 400 households per month, or 4,800 in a year. After 1 year 2 months you will have visited everybody. Having visited 4,800 households and been successful on 478 of them you will have a success rate of virtually 10%, or 1 in 10. Mmmm ...

Lastly, and perhaps most interestingly, you'll notice that Capita requires that successful candidates be subject to a CRB check. Well, guess who runs the Criminal Records Bureau? No, I'm not telling. You wouldn't believe me if I did tell you. You'll just have to find out for yourself! Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who will guard the guards?